NaNoWriMo – Day 4

Well, a lot can happen in three days (in my life at least!). After a flying start on my planned NaNo novel, Emma Delaney, I was suddenly struck by how disinterested and uninspired my writing was. I’ve had times when I’ve questioned whether my writing was any good or whether I was capturing what I was trying to capture, but this was different. This was a level of ‘don’t care’-itis that both surprised and rattled me. This was the novel I’d spent all of October planning and had thought through in great detail. By Day 2 I had written 7,500 words of Emma Delaney and was still just as uninspired. I decided I had a choice. I could white-knuckle my way through November and reach the word count easily but have not a lot of fun doing it, or I could come up with a Plan B. I chose Plan B.

I also discovered the real problem behind my writing difficulties. I’ve made no secret of the fact I am a Christ-follower, a Christian. And although I know Christians often do more damage to the Kingdom of God than anyone else on earth through our hypocrisy or judgemental behaviour or lack of respect and tolerance, I 100% whole-heartedly believe in my faith and try every day to make it a real, vibrant, blessing kind of faith that accurately represents the amazing God I serve. And because of that belief system, by extension I believe that my ability to write is a gift from God and to be used for His plan, not just my own. Therefore, everything I write must sit comfortably with me and my beliefs. Although I know many creatives who would cringe at such a thought of self-regulation, for me it’s important. If I can’t relax and write then I may as well not write at all. The problem with Emma Delaney, as it turns out, was not that it involved fiction or an element of fantasy. I don’t for a second believe that everything has to be factual or historical or even have an overt Christian message to be valuable. But I do think through my projects carefully and see whether what I am aiming to write as a whole (not particular scenes necessarily) sits within my belief framework. Emma Delaney didn’t.

The good news is that I believe that I received a divine spark of inspiration on what to do instead. After thinking, praying and pondering about this situation all day on Monday, I sat up in bed on Monday night with my Bible (I’m trying to read my Bible more regularly) and for some reason, I opened it to the book of Acts. Acts begins with Jesus’ ascension to heaven after his resurrection and the soon to be Holy Spirit inspired disciples ready to take on the world. And tucked away at the end of the first chapter was a little piece of information I had never before seen: There was a thirteenth disciple. Mentioned only once in the Bible, Matthias was chosen to be the divine replacement of the betrayer, Judas Iscariot. And there lay the seed to my new story. Without too much historical information to tie me to a particular storyline, my imagination took off. Who was Matthias? What was his story? According to the Biblical account, the person chosen to replace Judas must have been with them from the beginning, from the time of John the Baptist, right through to Jesus’ death. He must also have been a witness to the resurrection. And thus, The Thirteenth Disciple was born.

I’m having a lot of fun and am already 8,500 words in. It’s a story that aligns perfectly with my belief system and yet has enough freedom to allow me creative room to move. I thank God for new story ideas at the last minute and am not the least bit sorry for abandoning Emma Delaney. She may get her moment in the sun, she may not. But no word written is ever truly wasted. I never imagined myself writing historical fiction but I am. There’s a lot of spots where I will have to insert [leave details here] brackets for all the cultural references, but my story can still move forward and follow a young man on a mission to be one of the chosen few. Matthias’ story will be one of love and loss, betrayal and acceptance and ultimately, how one young man deals with rejection and overcomes his human frailty to become a great man of God.